Love, Life and Puppy Dog Tales

I want to be like Del Martin... I want to be so proud of who I am that I am willing and able to stand up and speak out about who I am without fear of reprisal, regardless of what that might be and without fear of shoving my wife out of my life by alienating her with my actions..... I want to make a difference. For someone. Somewhere. I wish I had known about Del in the late 80's. I didn't have that role model growing up. There was one woman I thought was gay and was my friend, but when I broached the subject she shut me down so hard and so fast, I was scared to pieces to mention it to another living soul for a long time. My actual coming out experience, when I finally did begin to share with others, was mild. I only lost one friend, that came back to me later. But my struggle was horrendous. I fought it. I hated myself for so long. Now, I look back at journals and OH MY GAWD I was a DYKE, but I would NEVER admit it even there. It took silently melding myself into ...

With Phyllis Lyon, her partner, by her side, at 87, a legend has died. I didn't know her, but I admired her for all she stood for. And in her lifetime she stood for so much. She came out of the closet long before it was even thinkable for gay people to do so. She believed in equal rights for all, and was able to finally *really* marry her partner of 55 years in June of this year. In 1960 she and Phyllis started a newsletter that grew to a magazine. In 1979 she and her partner started a health center for gays and lesbians. She and Phyllis were the first lesbian couple to insist on joining NOW at the couples membership rate. The list goes on and on. She stood up, spoke out and never let go of the idea that gays and lesbians are entitled to the same rights as any other human. She had such courage. She had such conviction. A woman to be admired for all time. From her obituary: "Gifts in lieu of flowers can be made to honor Del's life and commitment and to defeat th...

The community came together and donated money so that the little kitten of my earlier post - the kitten who was thrown against a door and had a broken leg and a bazillion fleas - can be repaired! In fact her surgery was scheduled for today and hopefully was successful! The humane society has named her "Mercy"... The local police are still investigating the incident, but at least Mercy is getting taken care of! I love it when a community gets together to help the helpless!

I have been violated. I have been accused of being in a relationship that is not "the ideal situation for children" and it was posted on my door. I am incensed. Outraged. Just plain PISSED OFF. People came on to my property, walked past my rainbow flag, and posted a notice on my door that is PRO proposition 8 - the proposed amendment to the constitution that would only recognize a marriage between a man and a woman. I wasn't home and my WIFE was sleeping when they showed up at our door, so they left their brochure along with a hand written note that said "Sorry we missed you." Actually, we are sorry we missed them. It could have been an interesting discussion. Among other things the brochure says: "A Man, A Woman, Plus California's Children. While death and divorce may prevent it in too many cases, the ideal situation for children is to be raised by a married mother and father. Proposition 8 is a positive step. Proposition 8 protects our children...

She knows. Yet she doesn't know. She can feel it slipping, but she can't grab it tight enough to stop it. Pieces and parts are going, and there is nothing that can be done. I see it happening. It is not as vivid for me as it is for others seeing it daily, but the picture has been painted well for me and my mind can grasp it. I am not good at feeling helpless. But I am also not good at fighting. And I am not faced with it day to day, so it is easy for me to sit back and armchair quarterback, almost as if it has nothing to do with me. But it does. As we age, we just don't work like we used to. Our bodies begin to fail us. Our minds begin to quit. Somewhere along the line I think somehow medicine has gone wrong. I know that people are living longer and longer but, really, is it all that good? If you are fortunate to not have arthritis and diabetes and heart problems and dementia, you are rare. Before now, getting old was abstract. I could tell you what to expect...

Despite my anxieties about changing my name, until today, it has proven anticlimactic. The great majority of institutions allowed me to make the name change via email, which surprised the living daylights out of me. Only my bank required that I come in, and those that didn't accept an email request, wanted only a phone call to process the change. As of today, I was down to three changes that needed to be made.... the phone company, my bank and my auto insurance/homeowner's insurance. The bank was simple. In and out in under 8 minutes. I then went to the insurance agency. When I made the decision to go to the insurance company, I didn't know I had signed up for a comedy show. I suspect that I am the one who thought it was funny. But someone's got to be the straight man sometimes, right? (yes... pun intended). I walked in with paperwork in hand. A very nice, mid 40's gentleman met me at the counter, asking if he could assist me. I informed him I was there ...

My wife and I spent Saturday just cruising all around town hitting yardsales. We searched for nothing in particular, just wanting to learn more about our town and thought maybe we could find a few bargains in the process. We did indeed find one awesome bargain... a set of halogen shop lights for $10 - and they work! We were very proud of ourselves for that one! What a grand adventure we had! And then we drove by a snow cone vender. Okay, so I guess they're called shaved ice now, but really... they're snow cones. It was HOT out and my wife thought the idea of a snow cone sounded awesome. I actually turned around and went back so we could get a snow cone. When we got to the little stand, there was no one at it, but there was a gentleman painting a post near by. He hollered for someone to come out of the liquor store that the snow cone stand was stationed in front of. Sure enough, a young man walked out and opened the little stand up. We eagerly gave our flavor order (I o...

I long ago realized that I would never 'see it all' and that there would always be something else that could amaze me. And today gave me that. Who could hurt a poor, innocent little kitten? How could someone possess so much hatred that it would be okay to throw a kitten at someone's door, like today's newspaper? That's what I saw today. A small, undernourished, horribly flea infested kitten was indeed tossed at someone's door - hard enough to startle the occupant inside. She opened her door to find, wrapped in a towel, this sad little kitten, mewing at her. She took it to the humane society who brought it to us. To look at her, you would never know that she had so many fleas that she was pale with the anemia they caused, aside from the pale gums that is. All she wanted was love. Someone to pet her and pay attention to her. Someone to give her affection to. She didn't even seem to mind that she was skin and bones, severely undernourished so much so ...

I shouldn't be surprised. Time has certainly moved along. Suddenly the reality of what that means is catching up to me. You are born, you live, you die. Sounds like a simple process, but when you are intimately involved in it, that 'live' part sometimes connects with 'die' a little more poignantly than you expect. In the last 2 weeks four long term clients have died. They touch my life, and I theirs, only briefly in the grand scheme of things, but some of those 'touches' are very significant because they have put their trust in myself and our hospital to care for the creatures they love very much. Sometimes that makes for some incredibly intimate connections. And suddenly, those people are gone from my life forever. I know that their loved ones grieve for them far more intensely than I, but I still find myself grieving a bit. I guess I am surprised by that. In discovering that I am grieving, I am realizing that these people have come to mean somet...

I am finding that at the moment, I am leading a double life... I seem to be in identity limbo! I have completed the federal process in changing my name, and have just completed the DMV process. But until the new photo ID comes, I am somewhat in between names. I have notified credit cards and utilities, and some changes have been completed. Some however require my physical presence to complete the process. Oddly, I am almost not sure who I am and what name to sign! Take DMV for example. I was smart enough to make an appointment before going in. When I got there for my appointment, I gave my name and she couldn't find me. Suddenly I doubted the date of the appointment was about to groan out loud at my foolishness for not double checking the paper I printed after making the appointment. The lady behind the counter asked why I was there. I told her it was for a name change. So she asked for my 'old' name. I said that was the one I gave in the first place. She s...

If I hadn't been there to see it, I wouldn't have believed it! Splash likes to sprint. No purpose, no bug or bird being chased... just an all out windsprint! We were working the garage the other evening when he flew by us out into the drive way at top kitty speed. I initially thought, 'hmmm he must have seen something out there.' After the second time, I began watching him because I was concerned that maybe something was watching us (we have a skunk that pops by now and again) and he was chasing it off. Nope. Not the case at all. He walked to the very far back of the garage and sat. Then he stood up and stretched and then bolted, through the garage and out the drive way. He did this 10 times. I kid you not. My wife and I counted! Each time was the same. After each run he would saunter back into the far back of the garage, rest up a bit, stretch and then bolt out again. My cat was doing windsprints! What a funny little cat!

Today was great!!! Occasionally we train for shorthaul - flying beneath a helicopter to allow for insertion into a search area that might be difficult to access or take a heck of a long time to get to if you were to hike it. Today was Kaeden's and my first 'for real' flight for a search. WOW... Kaeden was fantabulous! He wore the harness without fuss, hooked into the system and flew like a pro (better than I did I think!) and when we set down and got the harness off, he went right to work like we had just gotten out of our truck! He was so meticulous.... He searched everywhere he could get to and was absolutely in heaven when he realized he got to swim TOO! He, of his own choosing searched both shores and everywhere he could access via rock across the creek. And when he saw something he knew he hadn't checked and the only way there was to swim, he slid in carefully and swam to it... It was fun to watch. When I finally could watch that is. First we had to rock...