Love, Life and Puppy Dog Tales

All of our lines are busy now... please try your call again later Of late, I have begun to envision myself lying prostrate on the floor, as flat as can be.  Sometimes the vision is a relief, because if I am flat enough on the floor, then everything flying around me, aimed for me, won't hit me. Sometimes the vision is scary, because it feels like I deflated and am nothing more than an area rug for people to step on without really noticing. All the joy in life is gone.  I go through the motions hour by hour, day by day, all the while, trying to muster up the fascade of emotion to match the action, and am sure I often fall short. I get up every morning.  The alarm goes off and the process of a day begins. I go to work every day.  There are bill that are forever in need of payment. The mysteries that once were a motivation are now handled by rote and moved on from without deeper consideration. That that was my recharge, my "do because I want to do, do because it is the r...

I watched as a stranger placed a hand on my partner's shoulder,  looked her in the eye and said "Thank you." The woman moved from my partner and came to me.  She took my hand and said, very emotionally, "Thank you.  Because of what you do, you make it easier for my daughter and her partner."  She hugged me, kissed my cheek and just as quickly, walked away. I was stunned.  Aghast.  Floored.  It takes a lot to get me speechless.  But I was.  Tears welled up in my eyes.  The woman walked away before either of us could say a word. All we had done was dance.   I just took my wife's hand, and walked to the front of the room where we came together and danced. I have to admit, I was scared to do it.  I was in a room full of strangers who were also team mates.  Colleagues.  Strangers, none the less.  They all did the same thing we did.  We were all there to train for the same purpose.  This dance,...

Some of you may remember my adventure when making a name change after marriage three years ago.... it involved a trip to the Social Security office and some not so fun moments and a 'hope' that the employee would either not care it was two women on the certificate, or simply not pay attention....  and *poof* the name change happened.   Not that I could have the name on my passport. But that was a whole different story.... Time has gone on, and things have changed.  That marriage ended and I have moved on.  A new domestic partnership later (because, now marriage isn't legal in CA) and I thought ' WOW... home free again!'  because apparently there had been a change in the law..... and if one partner wanted to take the other one's name, they could.  It was right there in black and white.  You filed it with the State!  WooHoo!!! But it means nothing.  Legally, as per State Law, I can use the new name, but, a small loophole prevents m...

If you watched this episode of House, you will already understand what is meant by Social Contracts.  If not.... here goes.  He probably did a much wittier job of explaining it than I but... Social Contracts are what make you say "How are you?"  when you don't really have the time or the inclination to listen to the answer.   Social Contracts are what make you answer "Fine,"  even when you aren't really fine, because you just finished talking to an elderly couple who is facing the imminent death of their beloved pet and there is NOTHING that can be done to change the outcome.  Social Contracts are what make you say "Yes the chicken was delightful" even when it was dried up and chewy.  Social Contracts are what make you say "How was your holiday?" the Monday after Christmas... But do you really care?  In the grocery check out line, does it really matter to you how your clerks holiday went?  At Doc-In-The-Box, are you REALLY ...

I hope the shock on my face wasn't projected through the room when I saw her.   Always a strong woman, for as small as she is, she always seemed larger than life.  A free spirit who lived, it seemed to a degree, by the seat of her pants and was the epitome of "just do it."  It is only recently that I realized that I am taller than she.  In my head, her presence, her strength, she was always so ... Big. Just a few weeks ago, she was in a bed just a few doors down from the one she is in now.  But she was still that tremendous presence. The laughter rang through the room as we all talked about so much.  It was only a small set back.  Easy to overcome and be back, larger than life in a short jiffy. Today, I was shocked at  how pale, how fragile, how frail she looked.  I could look past the drug haze, but still, the reality of the situation was palpably clear.  She was Pale. Fragile. Frail. Small. I didn't feel this with my own fat...

"I am taking you somewhere very important,"  I told her. Her soulful eyes regarded me with interest, but I wasn't sure she understood. "I have a job for you.  I don't know if you are able to do it, but it is a huge responsibility.  I am entrusting you with someone who needs you desperately." Still, she looked at me.  I wasn't sure my message was getting through, but I had to trust, somehow, she understood. Loneliness eats up a person.  Days on end of staring out a window, shuffling to the refrigerator for a glass of water, and sitting back down to stare out the window; they take their toll.  Not too long ago, the days had more meaning, more purpose.   They had a reason for getting out of bed.  Someone to take care of, some reason to make sure the blinds were opened.   A way to guarantee that she was up and moving, if for nothing more than to open the door a few times a day.   There was a constant compa...

Twenty years ago I met a man.  He was a kind older man who owned a dog.  The dog wasn't his originally, but instead, was his son's dog.  His son had been killed prior to my meeting this man, and this dog, a Labrador named Blue,  was the last connection he had to his son.   That dog was his world.  He walked it faithfully twice daily, and sometimes more if his legs would let him.  He had had polio as a child and, while he could walk, he had definite issues with walking and it was painful for him.  He took the best care he could of that dog.  That was how I met him. He brought the dog into the veterinary clinic I was working at at the time.   We met a time or two there, and then I moved on to other things in my life.  About 3 years later, we met again.  He was a new client and I was a new employee at another veterinary hospital.  And Blue was 3 years older.  Blue developed a few medical problems and we saw Blue nu...