It was a brutal punch to the gut.
You committed suicide.
I have spent days thinking of you. Remembering our time working together. I really only knew a small snapshot of you. In that small space in time that we shared together, I trusted my life in your hands. I knew you had my back. I trusted my dogs' lives in your hands. I knew you had their backs. I hope you knew I had your back.
Your laugh was infectious. Your humor unmatched. Your commitment was intense. You wanted to do it right and learn all you could to find your niche within the group.
You were one of those pure people. You did what you did for the simple reason that doing for someone else was the right thing to do.
You gave. You gave time. You gave knowledge. You gave empathy. You gave yourself.
Did you give too much? Did you never ask for anything for yourself?
I will never know the answer. There will never be an answer.
My numbers seem inconsequential right now. I am sharing them anyway. I think, if you knew I was doing this, you'd have been enthusiastically supportive of me.
For 2015, from Aug 1st thru Dec 31st:
This year so far.. such a slow start. I am working to change that: