Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Remembering to Breathe

An opportunity has finally become an actuality. Given that all the paperwork is in order and the licensing gods smile down upon me, I will have an opportunity to sit for the state boards to actually get my Vet Tech License some time later this year.

I have been studying throughout this time frame, hoping that this opportunity will indeed happen!
This process has been a roller coaster over the last 10 months or so. Will this possibility come to fruition? As the state board mulled it over, I anxiously awaited the minutes from their meetings. Vote now? No. Vote now? No. Vote now? Yes. Result? YES.

Yippee.

Except.

The DCA (department of consumer affairs) had to sign off on it. I was assured that they would, but they had to meet first.

Remember that budget issue?? It is amazing how many things that affected.... the DCA couldn't meet again in 2008 due to budgetary constraints. So they didn't sign off on it.

Until this month. Mind you, nothing about the time constraints of the window changed. The window opened up on Jan 1, set to close Dec 31, 2009. But we couldn't crawl thru it. Until now. I have to shower them with paperwork that proves that I am worthy of this test. That goes in the mail tomorrow.

New snag....

Remember that budget issue? Right off the bat, we are being told that there will potentially be a 60 day processing period because of the state mandated furlough days.

Then there is a probable 6 week wait AFTER the paperwork is processed to actually have the test scheduled.

More waiting.

BUT..... I should get to take this test! I will probably have only one chance at taking this test.

I am excited.

I am also anxious.

I have always had test anxiety.... I have to get past that for this test.

Why am I here writing??? I have to get back to studying!!

Wish me luck!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Perspective

There is so much I like about this picture. The contrast between the snow covered land and the land without snow. The trees or brush that has the red hue. The rows of pine trees far off in the distance. The light haze of clouds to one side.

It makes me want to explore so many pieces of that photo in the real world and it makes me wonder how I can get to all of it.

If you observe life from many angles, from many perspectives, you can see so much more. If you focus too intensely on one thing, you will lose out on all that is out there to explore.

And another day is done.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Uniqueness


The patterns that form on my truck windshield never cease to amaze me.
These two photos were taken the same morning on the same windshield, just different sides - passenger vs. driver.

Neither of these photos came out perfectly. The shape and angle of the windshield makes getting good focus and depth of field difficult at best. But never the less, I still am fascinated by these images. I can look at them over and over again and still see something different or something more.

I suppose that's kind of like the people in our lives, particularly the ones who are closest to us. The more you look, the more you see. And the more that is shared, the more that you reveal the intricacies that make each of us unique.

The unique is not hard to find, particularly if you take the time to look.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

It Snowed Again

The fence between us and the neighbors has a slight tilt to it... and snow sticks like this. I love it.

I woke Friday morning and didn't even notice that it had snowed. Funny how stuck in your routine you get. I had made at least three trips across the house, crossing in front of the sliding glass door each time, but never looked outside. It was only after reviewing a voicemail on my cell phone from a coworker in which she stated it had snowed, and the problems that might cause her, that I looked out the window. And I saw snow! So I got my camera out and snapped a few pictures.

I even stopped at lookout point to get more photos because you could see just how far down the canyon it had snowed.

And so, creature of habit that I am, I now have a new habit.... every morning I look outside when I get up.... just to see what's there.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

If Only




If only there was more. More time. More space. More energy. More togetherness. More opportunity. More.

If only all our dreams came true. Dreams of happiness. Dreams of flight. Dreams of loved ones, once lost, now back in our lives.

If only we hadn't.... hadn't had one more piece of pizza. Hadn't said that hateful word. Hadn't run that stop sign. Hadn't shut that door. Hadn't forgotten to say I love you.

If only we knew which way the road led as we traveled on our journey. If we knew where it went, would we go faster? Or would we go slower? Would we go at all?

If only.

But it is not to be. What we have is what we are meant to have. If onlys only take us places we can never go. And only make us feel bad for never being able to go there.

I am beginning to learn that life is about to cherishing what is. It is also about learning to not let important moments pass by unnoticed. It is about looking for beauty in all that we do indeed have, in and around our lives, like a light dusting of snow on a quiet creek in the mountains. It is about taking the time to reach out. Offering the touch. Making sure to say I love you.

Maybe that will mean that you won't have the need to say

If only.....


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

An awkward moment

If you know me at all, you know if there is one thing that I am comfortable with, it is my sexuality. I have been an out lesbian for 20 years or more. I have always just been. The fact that I have a partner has never been something I have been ashamed of or hidden.

But....

For the first time in a very long time I had a moment of uncertainty... a lack of feeling safe maybe?


A long time client was in yesterday. She saw my name tag and recognized the last name as the same as someone she worked with. Indeed, it was my partner to whom she referred. She asked if I knew her, saying my partners name and my head matter of factly said, "yes, she is my partner." but my mouth just said "yes". Some how, for some reason I stopped. And I did consciously stop myself. I offered no more. She said, "I work with her. She is nice." I said, "I think so too." and again, left it at that. She looked at me strangely for a moment, but I offered no more information and she left it alone. Perhaps is it was just an instinct. Something that just said "stop there..." and I heeded it. I find myself upset with myself to a degree however because I feel like I let myself down. I have always believed that if someone had a problem with my sexuality, it was indeed their problem. Make this a heterosexual situation and someone saying "hmmm.. I work with Jim with your last name, do you know him?" I would have easily said, "Why yes, he is my husband," and all would have been hunky dory and peachy keen and no one would have had an awkward moment.

Was it simply because it was my work environment? I have never hesitated there before now. Did I sense something about this person in particular? My partner is out at work, and I went through this thought process.... if she knows my partner, then she would know she is gay and if we share the same last name then.... but in the entire exchange, I couldn't say it. It was odd for me....

I have no answers for myself. I just needed to put it out there.


Sunday, February 8, 2009

Timing

Timing in life is everything. As I drove into our back parking lot on Friday after lunch I saw this Red Tailed Hawk come in for a landing. I crept ever so slowly to where the hawk was perched on this tree. The hawk was gracious enough to pose for me and I got this shot.

I was alerted to this rainbow the same day I got the picture of the hawk. I quickly got my camera and took this photo. As I tried to decide on more, the clouds changed and I watched this rainbow just fade out of site in a matter of seconds.

Don't let your next opportunity fade out of site before you take the chance to be a part of it.


Saturday, February 7, 2009

Dependency

You don't know just how much you need a thing until you suddenly don't have it anymore....

Sigh. Sorry. No pictures to show. Although this week I got an awesome shot of a Red Tailed Hawk in my office's back lot. And a fabulous shot of a rainbow that parked itself in the parking lot across the street from my office. As well as a great picture of the only piece of sunshine available Friday morning. ... I was so pulled to that shot I actually turned around on my drive to work to get it.

But alas, my computer had an issue. Not a small one either. And a very good friend had to come fix it. You can translate that to reformat it. It is all because of this photography class I am taking. I couldn't find my English version of my manual so I went online to download a copy and poof, my computer suffered a meltdown. So, in the aftermath, I have to get a new copy of Adobe Elements, because I can't find my original program ... it is probably in a box still unpacked because its need wasn't foreseen. But after five boxes of "office stuff" I gave up on finding it.

The irony? In looking for the program, I found my camera manual. In my filing cabinet.... in a file labeled Nikon D80. Who knew I was so organized?

Miriam said I didn't need to take this class. Maybe she was right.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Random ... Sixes

I got here by going to Cabe Nelson's site http://cabenelson.wordpress.com/ where he talked about the rule of sixes he got from someone else.... the instructions were to go to your sixth file (photo/documents) on your sixth folder and blog about the photo.

And it made me smile!
Ahhh... to the good old days... it is so weird to say that this was last year! But already it is February! I swear I just barely had a nap between Cabo and now, but nearly 4 months have gone by..... This was the view from the resort. This is the only light house around. And the golf course is the Jack Nicholson golf course. And before you ask, no I didn't go play... the fact that it was $250 for a round of golf was discouragement enough. Oh... and the fact that I don't play golf also figured into that decision.


But I did walk on that beach. And I did lounge, if ever so briefly, in that ocean. And I took more photographs on that beach. And I made lifetime memories....

Next adventure!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Road To...

I have two assignments from my photography class.... the first one is to read the manual to my camera... great idea, except the only one I can find is the Spanish version. That should make things interesting....

The other assignment is to bring a favorite photo to class and there will be a discussion about what makes a memorable photo verses a snapshot. So now I have to decide on a photo.

What have I gotten out of this class so far? Don't be afraid of where the art wants to take you. I have laid down beneath Christmas trees, shoved couches and tables out of my way, laid down in my door way, and crawled around on driveways because it made sense to me to do that to get the shot I was drawn to. So it was nice to have that validated in this class.

So now I am taking the road to.... wherever it goes.