I am not political. I vote. I will stand up with others when the issue is dear to my heart and life. Overall, though, I am not political. I won't stand on a soap box and make Facebook posts about the elections. When my own civil rights are at stake, I have occasionally made statements about that. My favorite rant has everything to do with how my marrying my partner hurts anyone else. I will never understand how people think it will bring about the fall of marriage or civilization as we know it.
This election season, I have been fairly silent. I have shared posts that have messages that I like, but I have made no comment. Truth be told, until recently, I wasn't worried about this election. Now, I am afraid. Tomorrow, people will be voting in an election that, in my opinion, can make or break the rights that 'my people' have gained. It seems that no one can say, unequivocally that one or the other candidates has a clear lead. This seems to be an election that getting everyone out to vote means more than ever.
If one gets elected, I will breathe a sigh of relief and feel like maybe, just maybe, the next four years will see changes that will ensure that will allow my marriage to happen and that that might actually mean something to the rest of the governmental world. Maybe I won't have to worry about my partner having to pay estate taxes after I die, and that she can receive survivors benefits from Social Security (assuming it still exists....).
If the other gets elected, I am very afraid of my future. I am afraid that things we have now will somehow get taken away. I am afraid that the hope I have for the future of GLBT rights will be destroyed. I am afraid that I will be denied the right to visit my partner in the hospital. I am afraid I will be denied the ability to make decisions for her if the need arises. To him, we aren't worthy of rights that others take for granted.
We are so close to so many things that can make a real difference. We are hanging on a precipice, by our fingernails, and other people get to decide our fate.
Wednesday I will try to breathe again. I just hope it won't be mixed with tears and fears.