Tuesday, July 29, 2008


This is raw.

I had a client say something to me yesterday that I would never in a million years have said, even to someone I hated.

In a matter of fact tone, she says "So, what happened to your diet?"

When I politely smiled and tried to go back to her invoice, she continued

"No, really, what happened to your diet?" This time more insistent, as if the fact that I am providing her a service or a product also entitled her to being able to ask personal, probing questions.

I suppose I could have said that, with all due respect, that wasn't an appropriate question or that the question overstepped some unspoken boundary. But I was shocked. Amazed. Mortified.

Instead, I replied, quietly, rather embarrassed, taken aback, "Sometimes life gets in the way."

"Yeah, it sure is easier to pack on all those pounds than it is to take it off!"

Did she mean well? Best of intentions and all? In whatever small way, she probably thought she was helpful. But she was down right hurtful. I am not sure what part of her relationship with me allowed her to think she could say something like that to me. None of my friends would have. At no point in time have I ever even thought that this client could be considered even slightly more than a client to me.

Which is probably key here. What she has said shouldn't be hurtful. What emotional investment do I have in her? Would I ever have coffee with her on any morning? (aside from the fact I don't drink coffee of course.....) So why should what she said nearly bring instant tears to my eyes and cause me to cry buckets this morning?

After hearing her say it, I do have to wonder if my friends have had the same thought, but simply had enough tact to not say anything. Is that what hurts?

Or is the saying "The truth hurts" true?

And is my emotional reaction evidence of that truth?


foxyfrogmomma said...

perhaps she thinks of fitness as self love and she is concerned about you.Perhaps she wasnt meaning to be rude at all.but actually had been very impressed with your weigh loss and your ability to walk 26 miles which inspired and awed many of us....

Dr. Cason said...

It being the truth or not is irrelevant don't you think?

Unless you ask her you'll never know why she said it. I'd assume she was clueless and really didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Most people mean well but still say stupid things. We're human.

I think you're beautiful!

T. J. Hand said...

Thank you. Both of you.