A friend of mine died. Well, let's be honest. He killed himself. That information in and of itself rocked me. I began searching for answers. I was trying to, morbidly perhaps, Google him to see what had happened. My phone's browser showed me different web entries. At the same time, it also showed me his contact information that is on my phone. Almost like it was trying to tell me, why Google him when you can call him? Here's his info, just click and connect with him.
It stopped me for a while.
There are others on my phone too. I have contact information for a growing list of dead people. It would be easy to delete them. A couple of clicks and they're gone.
Having them in my phone is like some kind of weird insurance. Or, really, reassurance. It sounds ridiculous, but for a minute, when their name pops up for some reason, it's like they're not really gone. For one short moment, I can think of them in the present instead of the past.
Another day has come and gone. And another name has been added to that list.