California began allowing gay marriage as of yesterday at 5:01pm. Four years ago San Francisco had begun allowing gay marriage and we made an appointment to get married there. But it was taken away before we could go there to get married. But Portland Ore began the marriage thing and so we dashed up there and got married. It was legal in Oregon for less than a month and then we got our money back with apologies.
Now we have a shot at it again. Even though we refer to each other as 'wife', we aren't married. We are.... in so many ways we are... but we aren't.
Today we went to the clerk recorders office and paid our money. Once again we are on the road to married-dom. Someone asked me 'Just how many times are you to gonna get married?'.. I replied; "till it sticks!". This time it just might.
The Federal government still won't recognize it, however. We will not be able to file taxes jointly, although we still have to figure them jointly for CA purposes. If she or I die, our social security benefits get to go right back into the governments pockets and cannot be passed along to the surviving partner. If we leave California to simply travel elsewhere in the US, our marriage will probably not be recognized and we could be denied the right to make important medical decisions for each other should the need arise. Thus we still have to have the back up paperwork in hand. Or just don't travel, I guess.
I will NEVER get how my marrying my partner hurts another soul or takes a single thing away from anyone else in this nation. WHY does it matter to anyone else who I marry? I don't know how anyone can say that I shouldn't be able to make a HUGE decision for my partners well being should something horrible happen to her, or vice versa. Why should I have to have separate documents that say she can make medical or financial decisions for me? Or worry that without the legal documents in place should something happen to her I can lose our home? Preventing us from marrying doesn't benefit anyone else... it only hurts us! How rude is that?
All my soap box rantings aside, on July 10th, our 8th anniversary, we will be saying "I do" (again).
Here's to change!