Equality? Really?

-

Yesterday I received our certified copy of our Marriage Certificate. It is what I need if I want to, and I want to, change my last name to my wife's. This is where I think the fallacy of CA saying lesbian and gay couples can marry is going to play out. While it gives the 'appearance' of making us equal... it is only in CA eyes....

To change my name, technically, in CA, I can just simply begin using my wife's last name (or any name I choose really), but in the post 9/11 era, that isn't recommended. What is recommended is to go through the legal hoops to do it. When one gets married, that Marriage Certificate is your key. You begin with Social Security and 'trickle down' from there. Once the SS recognizes the name change, you can go to DMV and make the change. Then from DMV you can go anywhere else you need to make the change happen and do it. Sounds simple, doesn't it? Not that it isn't work or time consuming, but it is a relatively simple non court involving process. One I am *hoping* will work for me.

Alas, I fear that it won't. The SSA is federal. And to the federal government, our marriage doesn't exist. Which means they can (and I suppose probably will) return my properly filled out paperwork and say "nope, ain't gonna happen."

And so I may get to spend money in court fees and newspaper ads, as well as the time going to court to make the change happen.

Not even separate but equal.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Violated

-
I have been violated. I have been accused of being in a relationship that is not "the ideal situation for children" and it was posted on my door. I am incensed. Outraged. Just plain PISSED OFF. People came on to my property, walked past my rainbow flag, and posted a notice on my door that is PRO proposition 8 - the proposed amendment to the constitution that would only recognize a marriage between a man and a woman. I wasn't home and my WIFE was sleeping when they showed up at our door, so they left their brochure along with a hand written note that said "Sorry we missed you." Actually, we are sorry we missed them. It could have been an interesting discussion. Among other things the brochure says: "A Man, A Woman, Plus California's Children. While death and divorce may prevent it in too many cases, the ideal situation for children is to be raised by a married mother and father. Proposition 8 is a positive step. Proposition 8 protects our children
Read more

Timing

-
Image
Timing in life is everything. As I drove into our back parking lot on Friday after lunch I saw this Red Tailed Hawk come in for a landing. I crept ever so slowly to where the hawk was perched on this tree. The hawk was gracious enough to pose for me and I got this shot. I was alerted to this rainbow the same day I got the picture of the hawk. I quickly got my camera and took this photo. As I tried to decide on more, the clouds changed and I watched this rainbow just fade out of site in a matter of seconds. Don't let your next opportunity fade out of site before you take the chance to be a part of it.
Read more

An awkward moment

-
If you know me at all, you know if there is one thing that I am comfortable with, it is my sexuality. I have been an out lesbian for 20 years or more. I have always just been. The fact that I have a partner has never been something I have been ashamed of or hidden. But.... For the first time in a very long time I had a moment of uncertainty... a lack of feeling safe maybe? A long time client was in yesterday. She saw my name tag and recognized the last name as the same as someone she worked with. Indeed, it was my partner to whom she referred. She asked if I knew her, saying my partners name and my head matter of factly said, "yes, she is my partner." but my mouth just said "yes". Some how, for some reason I stopped. And I did consciously stop myself. I offered no more. She said, "I work with her. She is nice." I said, "I think so too." and again, left it at that. She looked at me strangely for a moment, but I offered no more inf
Read more